Disappear… Escaping Abuse

Long ago in a faraway land there lived a little bunny. She was such a sweet and kind bunny and she tried so very hard to be good but sometimes things didn’t go as planned. She didn’t have pretty clothes or nice bows for her hair like some of the other bunnies. Sometimes she didn’t even have enough carrots to soothe her rumbling tummy but she didn’t complain. As long as she was quiet she could hide away from the bad things. She could hold very still and be unnoticed. She could disappear…well most of the time. Her dirty clothes and her rumbling tummy were the least of her worries when she would hear the loud sounds of yelling and crying coming from the other room. She would do anything to make those sounds stop. Anything. She would try to disappear into her cold hard bed and would pull the covers over her head to quiet the noises. She would imagine that she was a beautiful princess and the noise was merely a handsome prince battling all of the wicked monsters that surrounded the castle. He would defeat even the scariest dragon to save her from the castle tower. But even her imagination couldn’t help her when the rage turned towards her. She would try to escape in her mind but the screaming telling her she was worth nothing scarred her as much as the blows to her little body. When the pain was too much she would go limp and dream of the handsome prince holding her as they galloped away on his white horse. Away. Far away. Far away from the hurt and the pain, from the yelling and the crying. Far far away.

One night she lay quietly in her little bed listening to the sounds of her tummy rumbling, and hoping it wasn’t so loud that it would awaken the others and start another battle. She began to drift off to sleep while ignoring her empty tummy when suddenly her door opened and a big bunny with a kind face walked over to her bed and scooped her up. The little bunny tried to go limp and pretend she was asleep because even though she saw a sweetness in his eyes, she was afraid. Very afraid. Her mind ran quickly through her day and she wondered what she had done to cause this new threat. She remembered the earlier yelling and screaming and the pain she had felt on the inside and outside of her little body. She thought about the other bunnies in the tree next to hers peering out to see about all the noise. She tried to pretend everything was okay but they shook their heads knowing it was not. But who was this big bunny and why was he there. Was she in trouble? Was he going to hurt her again like she had been hurt so many times before? Was he taking her away on a white horse or was he bringing her to another dungeon worse than her own? She couldn’t say a word. She couldn’t move. She begged herself to disappear. To simply be gone. She wanted so much to escape but her fear of what lay beyond her “castle” was even scarier than what she had to live with. The beatings hurt. The hateful words rung in her ears. But it was all she knew. It was her world. Her only world. But at this moment the unknown was even scarier.

The little bunny held her eyes tightly shut and tried so hard to hide away in her imagination. So scared she barely let herself breathe but then she heard a quiet voice. It sounded so sweet but so far away. She wondered if it was a tiny bird from her imaginary world inviting her to play in the flower meadows. But the sweet sound didn’t disappear and it became more real and she finally peeked just a little out of one eye. She saw the big bunny and another smaller white bunny who had the same kind look in her eyes as the big bunny. It was this bunny that was singing softly to her and rubbing her fur with the softest touch she could imagine. So unlike she was used to. So different that she didn’t quite know what to think. As she gained her courage she slowly opened up both eyes and looked up into the face of the beautiful white bunny. She told herself to enjoy this moment because it must be a dream and she would soon wake up in her cold bed once again. But she didn’t wake up. The kind bunny didn’t disappear. The little bunny began to pay more attention and heard the white bunny ask her if she was hungry and if she wanted a carrot. She really did but was scared that if she spoke everything would disappear. The white bunny seemed to understand and without words she reached in her bag and brought out the tastiest looking carrot ever. She held it gently and then slowly the little bunny began to nibble on the sweet carrot. Very slowly and very quietly at first and then as if she could not help herself, she suddenly grabbed a hold and gobbled up the carrot until it was all gone. When she had finished the carrot the little bunny was worried that she shouldn’t have eaten the whole thing but then she looked at the white bunny and saw her kind eyes sparkle as she patted the little bunny’s head with her gentle touch. The little bunny felt so warm and happy and for the first time ever drifted off to sleep with happy thoughts and a quiet tummy.

The next time she woke up the little bunny was scared to open her eyes for fear that she would find herself back in her familiar cold hard bed. She stayed so quiet and still as she tried to take in all of the smells and sounds around her before she allowed herself to open her little eyes. The scary sounds and the smell of dread were not there. Instead the smell of fresh breakfast soup filled her nose and the same sweet music she had heard from the white bunny again pleased her ears. Her bed also felt different. It was warm and cozy, nothing like the hard wood she was used to. She finally gained the courage to open her eyes. She was amazed at all they took in. She was not in her usual place but instead she was once again with the white bunny who was singing softly as she stirred the breakfast soup. In front of and beside her, the little bunny saw three other little bunnies. Two were rolling around while laughing and playing and the smallest one was cuddled up next to her and looked a little nervous just like she was. When the white bunny realized she was awake she quietly hopped over while still singing so beautifully. She placed her arms around the little bunny and pulled her up on her soft lap. The little bunny stiffened, afraid of what might happen, but to her surprise the white bunny held her close and rubbed her softly with her gentle hands. She whispered quietly to the little bunny, “I’m here for you. I will keep you safe and warm. I won’t ever let anyone hurt you. Never ever again.” The little bunny slowly began to relax and then she cuddled close in the white bunny’s lap. As the white bunny sang softly and rubbed the little bunny’s soft fur she tied a beautiful bow, perhaps the most beautiful bow ever, to the little bunny’s right ear. She couldn’t believe it. She had a bow tied up in in her hair and it was even more beautiful than she could have ever imagined. At that moment she began to understand. The big bunny must have been her prince. The white bunny was like his white horse. They had saved her. Her new world was about to begin. A world filled with love. A world so different from the world she had always known. Her old world that held so much hurt and pain began to disappear, replaced by this new world full of love and kindness. As time went by everything was not always perfect in the little bunny’s new world. Sometimes she had to think or talk about the bad things that had happened but it was okay now. She was no longer afraid. She was safe. The white bunny had kept her promise and no one ever hurt her again. Never ever again.